STUPID

They call me stupid

My mother used to call me
Beautiful, she said I was
One in a million
She said I shined even from far away
But then, the me I was before
Is nowhere to be found
In the mirror, I see myself bruised

Now I’m bruised hard by the world
Hurting, but unable to show it
I get through each day
(Barely made it through)
I feel like I’m alone in my basement
Being alone feels more comfortable now

If I become invisible
Please don’t come and look for me
Having no one by my side
Is what I’m used to

I feel like I’m a stupid
Feel like I’m stupid
I’m alone with my head hanging low
Everyone keeps saying
What’s wrong with you?
I barely know myself, so don’t ask me why
And every time I look deep
Into the mirror
The face I see feels unfamiliar
I’m clearly smiling
So why do my eyes fill with tears?
Without knowing what’s inside me
The sun rises again
Damn stupid

I’ve closed and opened my eyes countless times
Yet it still feels like I’m all alone in this world
I’m on edge, I need space to breathe
Someone, please pull me out
With expressions and tone that aren’t mine
I end up in more arguments
My steps grow slower and slower
Feels like it’s too late to turn back

I don’t wanna live like this anymore
I don’t want to feel cut off anymore
I want to smile like you
Just like how I used to be
I wanna go back

If I become invisible
Please don’t come and look for me
Having no one by my side
Is what I’m used to

I feel like I’m a stupid
Feel like I’m stupid
I’m alone with my head hanging low
Everyone keeps saying
What’s wrong with you?
I barely know myself, so don’t ask me why

Don’t call me now
My phone’s on mute
I don’t feel like doing anything
Locked away in my room with only the dark
I just want to coexist and breathe
No light can ever reach me
I’m afraid of that light

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh damn stupid
(1 2 3 4)
I feel like I’m a stupid
Feel like I’m stupid
I’m alone with my head hanging low
I’m clearly smiling
So why do my eyes fill with tears?
Without knowing what’s inside me
The sun rises again
Damn stupid