Trauma

The long-lived villian in my heart
Who pierced my heart countless times
My memories a guideline
To the brutality to be imposed on me

Once I’m about to forget, it comes again, oh yeah
like what you’d see on a familiar screen, oh yeah
The wounds come back to life
I try to avoid them but get hurt every time (My heart gets hurt)
I know, it can’t just be me
yeah, it can’t just be me

A small door, past my memories (that I’d locked shut)
Is endlessly re-opened (now I leave it open)
I take in a breath (and another deep breath)
Until l can catch my breath

Something I could throw away in my memories
Something I could let myself forget
Shake it off, just like that, it’s not much at all
Until I forget, until the end
Something I could throw away in my memories
Something that now is not much at all

I only take in my toxic memories
Growing more deeply embedded in my heart
They force me further, corner me
Even my habitual self-blame

Even the things I couldn’t help, oh yeah
The things deeply overgrown around me, oh yeah
Cut them off, without exception
Leave nothing behind (without hesitation)
This is the best thing I can do for myself
With a sharper gaze

A small door, past my memories (that I’d locked shut)
Is endlessly re-opened (now I leave it open)
I take in a breath (and another deep breath)
Until l can catch my breath

Something I could throw away in my memories
Something I could let myself forget
Shake it off, just like that, it’s not much at all
Until I forget, until the end
Something I could throw away in my memories
Something that now is not much at all

La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la

Inside the always endless darkness, I turned on a light
I’ll open the door locking me in even further
Jump on the scene, hit you with the lean
I felt an excitement with my lightened heart

The nightmares that endlessly woke me from my sleep
Disappear as I count to three
I let my heated insides burn
Making my day feel much Iighter

Surpassing the moment
Making it past the walls that held me in
Watch closely, in front of me
The traumas of yesterday fall apart

Until I could erase the memories, oh yeah
Of being endlessly out and hurt, oh yeah
I needed some time
I put up with so much more (I overcame it, yeah)
I draw the sun to myself
Oh, and change begins

A small door, past my memories (that I’d locked shut)
Is endlessly re-opened (now I leave it open)
I take in a breath (and fill you anew)
Filling my heart

Something I could throw away in my memories
Something I could let myself forget
With the wind beginning to blow anew
Let it blow further, and further
I overcome it as I’m about to show them
How my gaze is changing

La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la la la la la